There's a huge difference between movie romance and real life romance. For starters, no slow music suddenly starts playing in the background when your eyes meet with hers. The other people standing around never disappear, and pick up lines like “Wanna play a game? You can be Little Red Riding Hood and I’ll be the Big Bad Wolf.”is bound to get you a blank stare, followed by something that probably sounds like; "ehn?" or "you say?". And that's just scratching the surface.
And please don't get me started on acts of chivalry like chasing her cab to the airport and declaring your undying love in front of countless smiling strangers who say stuff like: "what are you waiting for? Kiss her already!" (Try to picture such a scene happening at the Murtala Muhammed 2 Airport, Lagos. "Excuse me everyone! there's a girl on a plane right now to Abuja, I love her but I might never see her again")
Meeting a new girl is not always as easy as it is portrayed in the movies, so most guys just prefer to wait for a green light before they make their move (which in my cowardly opinion, is very cool). The problem however is; knowing how to spot the green light on time before it becomes a red or even worse, gets permanently stuck on yellow (ready, ready, ready, ready,...)
Here is a typical scenario: You meet a girl you like; "Hi, what's up?", she snubs you (by default), you smile, act like you're not embarrassed, and try to push the conversation further; gambling the possibility of some serious tongue lashing with the chance of a better audience. Usually you are spared the tongue lashing but you are still denied the warm audience you desperately require to drop the slick compliment hanging on the tip of your tongue. Instead you are rewarded with that awkward prolonged silence which could be defined as the appropriate response for a fool in the real world. But in your smitten world it's simply a sign that there's something troubling her, she's just not in the mood to talk right now, it's nothing personal. This state of mind is usually followed by a light bulb moment, that results in you playing the clown who cheers her up. If your jokes are good, playing the clown could lead you to quarter base: repressed laughter, a beautiful smile and the words "you're funny" but if they're out of taste, it could lead to an amber light moment where all hell breaks loose and she reaches for the pepper spray.
Depending on where you met her the first time, you might never meet her again. So it's understandable if you feel the need to ask someone around if they "know anything about that girl". Most times nobody does. But sometimes you get lucky and someone just happens to know where she works, lives, or who her best friend is cousins with. You may or may not get a number, a blackberry pin or even a twitter handle, but at least you have an office or home address and a name. Now all that's left is an unscheduled visit that might leave her surprised and receptive or surprised, annoyed and irritated at the sight of you. Of course she just might be fronting (girls do that a lot by default, and sometimes say the opposite of what they actually mean), so you might decide to take Aaliyah's advice and try again, but there are really no guarantees.
Maybe if you had been a little more slick in your approach and had sent her a series of gift boxes with little notes bearing nothing but your name before you showed up unannounced, things might have turned out differently. But let's face it, you're not that slick, and even if you were, you're probably not that rich.
I wouldn't call myself an expert, but I do have some experience in these matters (and yes I have done a little bit of research. Don't be fooled every blogger does some research! Okay maybe not every blogger). Here are a few tips to know if she likes you or likes you not before you even make your move.
- The Pointer: If she's sitting in front of you with her legs crossed, and her feet gradually moves until it's pointing at you, she's subconsciously saying she's interested in you. (For the record, I have never tried this tip before)
- Eye Contact is also very good! Check out the following eye contact reactions: (i) She smiles (ii) She fiddles with the straw in her drink (iii) she adjusts her clothes or jewellery (iv) she quickly looks away and slowly looks back at you hoping you wouldn't notice that she was hoping you would notice (I know, it sounds complicated, but it;s for real) (v) She plays with her hair (vi) She bites her lips.
Please note: If she looks down, when your eyes meet, it doesn't always mean she likes you, she might just be a shy person (and trust me there are way too many guys in jail serving time because they confused a shy girl for an interested girl). However, if she reacts in all the above listed forms at the same time, I would recommend you call a taxi or you could start by simply walking over and introduce yourself. All the best! Let me know how it goes.