Friday, 6 June 2014

Confessions Of A Scared And Confused Youth


Yesterday night, I dream the same dream wey I don dey dream for a very long time. I dey run ontop one bridge, the rope don cut, police dey pursue me for back, the bridge dey fall. I no fit move.


How long have you been having this dream?


For like six years now


Why were the police chasing you?


I no know. Every time the dream start, I dey run.


You're running on the bridge?


Yes


What's on the other side?


I no dey sure. E dey change. Sometimes na school, sometimes na my church people, sometimes na place wey people gather, sometimes I no dey see am.


Is it always the same bridge?


Yes


The people chasing you, is it always the police? 


Yes


Have you seen their faces?


No


Do you hear sirens?


No


Are they shooting at you?  Do you see flashing lights? Are there barking dogs trailing your scent?


No

How do you know it's the police?


I no know. I just know.


Do they ever catch you?


No. The dream dey always end the same way. 


You're running on the bridge, the police is chasing you, the bridge is falling, you're stuck.


Yes.


Why do you think they are chasing you?


I no know. The thing dey make me weak. Abeg na which kind dream be this?


Try to relax your mind. We'll get to the bottom of it; that's why we're here. Please permit me to ask you a few personal questions.


Okay


How would you describe your life? How do you feel about your self in general?


I no understand

   
Okay, let me put it this way; I know you're troubled about your dream, the constant repetition of the scene and not knowing what it means. But dreams aside, is there anything else you are troubled about?


Yes, my work.


What about it?

  
Market no dey move for some time now.


What do you do?


Business. I dey into buying and selling.


Okay. Think about the times you've had this dream; does it happen when your business is not moving well?

Yes sometimes, but I don dey get this dream before I even start business.


How long before?


E don tey small


As far back as your secondary school days or after that?


Well, I remember say e been happen like once or twice when I dey school sha, but I no fit remember when e start.


Okay. Tell me about your life in school; any good memories?


Plenty. I been sabi book well well, my teachers been like me.


Is buying and selling what you wanted do after school or did you plan to do something else?


Right from time, I don dey into buying and selling. Even for school I been dey run things; na my hustle be this. 


Your experience is common in some ways with other stories I have listened to in the past. One of the things I find interesting about it, is your decision to characterize your pursuers as the police, even though you've never seen them or registered any activity in your dream that could indicate the identity of your pursuers to be police men. In my experience, people who dream of police men chasing them are usually burdened by one of two things; it's either they've done something wrong that they either are ashamed or afraid of, and they believe something is coming to expose and punish them or they've done something they believe is right and that someone or something else is coming to stop them. The latter is rare with police men; the characters are usually thugs but some people whose lives are situated in areas of widespread oppression and contained resistance, are likely to characterize their pursuers as police men. Not to mix things up, let's take this slowly. Is there anything you've done that you are very ashamed of?


As how?


Is there anything you've done in the past that you're not proud of, and this thing dey really disturb you for mind, e dey make you shame well well when you think am.


I no know o.


Think about it


Erm I don sleep with my cousin before, but we been dey small


When did this happen?


I no know, maybe around 94


How old were you at the time?


Around those kind 10 or 11. Wait. 94, 93, 92, 91, 90, 89, 88, 87, 86, 85, 84. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. I been dey eleven years at the time.


Did you force her to have sex with you?


No oh, we been just dey play when e happen, no be say na the main thing sef; I been no release and one of my other cousin from north been still follow her sleep.


At the same time?


No o, him be sleep with her some days later. But after about six months that same year, she die.


The cousin whom you had sex with? She died?


Yah


How did she die?


Moto jam her, the driver first comot from him car to go look am, but people com begin shout. Out of fear, the guy run enter him moto com take off, him two tires front and back climb her head.


Were you there? Did you see her brains splattered on the concrete?


No, my mama been tell me the story.


How did it make you feel?


E been do me somehow.


Would you consider yourself a religious man?


Yes o, I no dey take God play. but you know say sometimes man na man.


Did you ever feel like you were responsible for what happened to her?


I no understand.


Do you feel she died because of what the both you did together? Did you think it was God's way of judging her and perhaps you own judgement was coming soon?


I been no think am like that. You feel say na Wetin dey do me?


What do you think?


This thing wey you just talk dey fear me o. You mean say God wan kill me?


I didn't say that. I was only asking to know how you felt at the time.


My mind been no go that side o. I been just feel like say person wey I know well don die.


How often do you think of her?


Once in a while. Before this gist today, I no sure say I don think about am for some time now.


Okay. Besides that experience, is there anything else you're very ashamed of? Don't hold anything back, if you want my help with this dream, you will have to be very open with me. You don't have to tell me right now. Go home and think about it. You can tell me when we meet next week.


Okay. But what if I dream the dream again before we meet next week?


Do something different if you can/


Like what?


Try to  turn around and face your pursuers.


Face the police men?


Yes. I'm interested in knowing what happens when you face them.


Hmmm okay o. I go see you next week.


Next week.


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  1. I like your style of writing! more please

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  2. Le'original... I'd like to see where this is heading.

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